Dyslexia and writing

Story time when I was a child my school teachers labeled me as aproblem child becuase I didnt learn at the same pace as others  I was expelled from one school and didnt renter the education system again for nearly a year through out this  time I was stamented  as being dyslexic school has never been a great place for me from bullying to being told by a teacher at the age of 12 that I would never amount to anything inlife has alway affected me in two ways its affected my self confidence in how good I am at things I have a tendancy .

to give up on things when they become too hard for me which becomes aggravates me in a lot of ways I don’t want to be that person that gives up at the first. hurdle so I have been slowly working . on bettering this part of my self.

however, that black dog depression always seems . to want . to rear its ugly head to try . and put the dampeners on this depersion can be like a nice comfy blanket that. you have had . for years it’s easier . to fall back into bad habits than it is to make new ones.

all of this comes. together . to make a perfect storm of self-doubt and social anxiety writing is great but I very rarely post on my blog because my spelling and grama is really bad I wish it was better I want to be able . to throw a switch . in my head and measure that everything fits. but it never does for me writing. as a dyslexic . can be a dusting. experience of trying to remember. how . to spell and. wanting to get. all the. thoughts in. your . head . down on “paper” I love . to write but I also hate it. at the same. time as I have always been. ridiculed for how bad my spelling and grama is.

even. with spelling. checkers . and software lie Grammarly it can be hard I feel its a process of writing them. re-reading. and. writing. what I have. written out.

Again I feel. annoyed with my self that. something that so many . take . for granted is. something that seems . to escape me a lot of the time.

I hope going forward that I can keep this up and improve my writing skills as I go I have always wondered if how writing feels . to others if it is just dyslexia. a thing or do others find spelling and grammar things that are hard. to grasp.

 

 

Don’t lissten to what they told yer

So  as  any body knows me  knows I’m  dyslexic A reasonably  well functioning  dyslexic but still dyslexic I go through  life  with  a few  little bumps here and there a few  hiccups in life’s little play so my handwriting is  awful  I will total agree i Have  always  wanted beautiful handwriting but it has  never happened  if  I  slow  to a crawl  with my  hand  writing  I get  a passable  Dr’s  scrawl I  would say  and  my spelling leaves  a lot to be desired.

This brings  me  to the point of this post  for years and  years  I was told by  hosts of people  from teachers at my  secondary  school  to certain  adults  not to be named  here and hosts of  others that I would never amount to anything  or I cant wright or I’m just plain crap  at things  well I have  many a  thing to  say  to these nay Sayers but  all are not polite  so what would be the point in that .

Now I wont  pretend that this has not  affected my self esteem or my self  worth  because  that  would be  a lie  because it has  for many a year  now there is always a niggle of self  doubt in the back of my mind that says you are not  good enough  you wont amount  to any thing or this is crap.

On one hand this has strengthened  my  resolve recently  to prove  these  people wrong and stick up a finger  and  say  sod yer I can  do it  and  that’s what I Hope I can move  forward and do from now on

and  two all those that said  I couldn’t  write  well I Beg  to differ.

So here’s  to self  progress and improving one’s self.