since the events of last year the god awful break up which left my life upside down and me rapidly spinning out of control I had only just at the time started working for my self so I was very stressed to say the least I do feel now over a year latter that I have started to pull things back together don’t get me wrong they are by no means perfect as yet but they are getting better day by day.
I’m now having CBT to help me deal with the stress that I’ve been under during the relationship with he who shall not be named I had put on a lot of weight which I have only recently started to shed. So back to the gym it is for me and lot of healthy eating My diet is seriously improved but this can fluctuate most of the foods Ive been eating have had mostly been vegetarian I’ve also found my love of cooking again.
red guacamole I made with onions, baby tomatoes and tomato puree with veggie burgers this was great
Ive also started to draw again which is some thing that I love.
I went on a date on saturday we spent the whole day talking about random stuff it was great I hope we meet up again.
so all in all things are looking up whoop .
So what i relay need to keep doing is focus on doing things that help me out and can keep me moving forward.
I’ve recently been taking on a lot and I’m finding my time is split more and more between personal projects and projects for friends and actual paid work I’m currently building a site for a charity and have editing to do for some one else and I’m supposed to doing photos and filming for a comedy night on sundays all of this is unpaid work this does mean that with all of this I have very little spare time to focus on unpaid work for people so I’m think what I’m going to have to do is put a slow down on the unpaid stuff.
I was speaking to a business mentor the other day who suggested that i set aside a set amount of time each month that I can focus on unpaid work which i think is fair and by far a better way of doing things any thing out side of this time would have to be answered with a request for some remuneration for my time time is money after all.
At the end of the day it comes down to the fact even though I work for my self doesn’t mean that I can work for free which is true I have bills to pay I have retirement to save up for just like every one else does.
the down side to this is that it does mean I haven’t had much time to focus on my drawing which is something that Ive recently got back into.
I set my hours I work when I want and where I want now this can have both positive and negative effects some times this means I over work my self
2. I can chose what projects I work on
I Don’t have to have projects handed to me and work on my part of it then sign off and thats it Im there from start to finish of the project
3. I’m not tide to a desk all day
I can work any where that I can get a wifi signal in the past i have edited videos in coffee shops and worked on websites on trains I have even worked on my own sofa
4.I only have to work with others when I want or need to
I have become a bit on a recluse of late and this is because a lot of the time Being in a room full of people babbling away can distract me and I find it some times hard to concentrate
5.the creative freedom
since being self employed I have felt that I have become more creative and have had more time to sit and think on things that I want to do
What I Don’t love about it
1. chasing invoices
as part of being self employed you are going to have to send out invoices to customers this isn’t a problem I use a great system called wave for most of my work out side of people per hour and for people per hour its mostly dealt with by there systems but the one thing i hate having to do it chase delinquent invoices that have not been paid by clients its a bit of a bug bear of mine.
2. being overworked
this can sometime be a good thing but I think something that I still have to learn about being self employed is setting boundaries for when I should work and when I shouldn’t.
3. not having enough work
being self employed can have its peaks and troughs meaning that one month I can have lots of work on and the next I can find my self just getting the required amount in I hate these times because they can lead to self doubt but yet again I think this is down more to time management than any thing else
4. finding a good work life balance
I only put this in the hate section as I find it a bit of a struggle but i assume I shall figure this out in time as I am only early on in my self employed Journey.
5. feeling unsure about the future
as any one who has ever started there own business or become self employed will know one of the most scary things can be letting go of the safe net that a monthly wage brings
So I was sat at my desk this after none sipping my cup of java and reading and thinking about a story I read via a social media stream this weekend that the cost of coffee is due to rise. Brazil’s Arabica coffee prices have recently surged 94 percent, to $2.144 a pound on the New York futures market. The price spike is a result of bad weather in Brazil.
This got me to thinking about the prices that we pay for a coffee from business such as Starbucks and costa not to say that a half fat double shot Americano with cameral isn’t nice but when did it become the norm that a coffee from such a place should cost what to some people is nearly a hours wage and is these articles are any thing to go by the cost is going to rise the thing that I always think is that I can buy a bag of fresh ground coffee for around £3- 5.00 as well as lets say the cost of a coffee and a doughnut at dun-kin doughnuts the base cost of the raw ingredients are not equal to the final price of the end products that you receive.
What your paying for is a logo and the reputation of a brand. in theory you could buy the same beans grind them your self and make the same coffee all your self at a fraction of the cost we have become a society of consumers.
Well a 1st world individual has any way there is a large majority of the population in the third world that lives purely off of take away and restaurant food and ready meals we can place orders for items which are delivered the following day every thing has become a connivence now there is not thing wrong with this but to much of anything is a bad thing no matter how good it is.
where Adam talks about how shortly after the birth of his daughter he and his wife had a discussion about what they actually wanted from life. and that he eventually came to a realisation that he and his wife were in the early twenties and in around 18 thousand pounds worth of personal debt not including debts that they had such as college loans.
this also brings me to convince again we have accepted that it is fine to be in mass amounts of debt from a young age now don’t get me wrong there are different sorts of debt what Adam was focusing on here was Personal debt, we want the latest new flat screen TV we take out a loan new car lets finance it so on and so fourth we gauge how successful some one is by the size of there house how flashy there car and clothes are. so what do we do we collect crap we build up our collection of video’s, games books etc and when we have run out of space to fill our spare rooms with this crap we then g on to rent space to store our old crap so we can buy new crap.
So I think it was about time I sold off my crap pay of some of my debts and start enjoying life.
I was reading the spoon theory by Christine Miserandino on her site www.butyoudontlooksick.com and was thinking how this applied to a situation I had last year and is still on going with the local council and my council tax where I live they had made a decision that if I was able to sign in at the job centre for JSA and get a business up and running for a period of nearly 4 months that i should have been well enough to be able to get my claim for council tax benefit in on time ( to be honest at the time I was very low on spoons and was barely getting out of bed most mornings).
how ever for various reasons including a really bad bout of depression which had been affecting me since january of last year and had come and gone for the for the whole year and to be honest still is holding on for dear life rather like the black dog cartoon. I had also broken up with my ex who has taken me and my finances for a bit of a joy ride to say the least and I m having to service various debts created by him. I’m getting a little off point here though.
So the issues is that the council says that I should have been able to get my claim in for council tax benefit with no hassle at all I’m sorry I don’t think this is the case at the time my “Spoon Count” was very low to say the least and as said before I was barely getting out of bed in the morning a majority of the time I spelt though whole days I was working from bed when I could to be honest the last thing on my mind was getting out of the house and going to the city council hall to get extra stuff sorted but unfortunately it would appear that my case has been dealt with yet again by somebody who has no idea about mental health and how it affects a person slow clap to that individual there.
if any one is reading this out there how do you find you deal with mental of physical illness do you use spoon theory to explain your situations or do you have another method please let me knowI’m always interested in how others deal with these things .
Thanks to a friend of mine Kat for introducing me to spoon theory.